Your Life Holds Value

Your Life Holds Value

"Suicide what kinda talk is that? I've been talking to God for so long and when I look at my life, I guess He talkin back."- Kanye West

I've been the person harming myself in hopes to no longer be here. I've been the person who felt as though I wasn't good enough. I've been the people pleaser who felt I let everyone else down. I was at a loss for my purpose. I thought it was some kind of punishment that God created me just for me to sit here and be unhappy. I could go on and on but my point is- just know, I've hit rock bottom. I'm not telling you my life was rough or that I had it hard and here’s a list of my complaints. I'm telling you within myself I found nothing.

Depression comes in different forms in different people and it's a serious fight against our spiritual being. The enemy wants you to give up. He wants to steal your joy, he wants to kill your faith, and he wants to ultimately destroy you and the possibility of your relationship with God. Now that doesn’t mean if you’re battling against symptoms of depression you’re any less spiritual than the next person. The Word says that our fight is not against those on this earth but against the rulers and authorities and the powers of this world’s darkness (Ephesians 6:12). This does not mean your faith is weak. This simply means you’re under attack and its up to you to make a choice and fight back!

I define depression, as what the world tells us is wrong with us when they gave it to us in the first place. Let me explain, depression normally comes from the affliction of this world. It may be our finances that are our main focus of depression & not having enough money to get the things wanted to live in this world. It may be that we lost someone dear to our hearts and even though we will see them again, they’re no longer in this world with us. It may be not being happy with ourselves in comparison of what we see in others of the world. In actuality the world is not always a fun place to be in the middle of. It was created to be, but because of Adam’s disobedience, we were born sinners into the world. Praise God that once we accept Jesus into our hearts we are no longer children of the world, but instead children of God. He never said the journey would be easy. However, He did promise He would never leave us to get through it alone. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

That’s not always easy to remember with the distractions of the world around us. Being born-again doesn’t mean you’re attack proof. It does not mean that satan will not attempt to feed you with thoughts that can condemn you. It does not mean that satan has given up on trying to defeat you. Most importantly, it does not mean that it is not okay to not be okay.

There was something off with me. I felt out of place in the midst of people who I knew loved me such as my family and friends. There’s even times I had to remind myself how much God loved me but even though I know He did, it still felt like I was down here fighting my own battles alone. That feeling can be overwhelming. It can make you feel so many things that you can almost subconsciously make the decision to go numb.  For me I grew so numb it became concerning and that’s when harming myself came into play just so I could feel something. There were even times where I felt everything at once, and due to overwhelming thoughts, wanted to punish myself with physical pain. Everyone will not relate to this. Some may even read my honesty and think I’m a nut case. However, I’m not sharing this in the hopes of gaining approval from others. I’m sharing this because someone, even if only one person, may relate to this. If you’re reading this and it’s reaching you, I promise you, your life holds value!

God has not left us. It is not a joy for Him to see His children hurting. He is holding on tighter than ever before but we cannot give up and let go. Mankind likes to diagnose depression, and then prescribe medications and ways for you to think. However, I submit that you can get through this without any of that. Just as everyday you may have to take that prescription, I want you to make the decision everyday to set that time aside for God. It may take a little longer than swallowing a glass of water, but it will leave you with more long-term fulfillment. (Proverbs 12:25)

             When your spirit is being attacked you need more than a physical medication. You need to spiritually attack back. Even in the midst of the tears, if your eyes are too flooded to read the Word turn on some worship music. Even if your thoughts are telling you to give up, that you’re not good enough, that it won’t get any better. Stand Firm! Defeat those thoughts by speaking out loud to remind satan of his place and to claim your victory!

Through all that you have gotten through, you are still here! You are more than a conqueror! You are not forgotten! You can do all things through Christ! He will provide for your needs! You are victorious! You have purpose! You are valued! You are chosen! You are royalty! You are a Child of the Most High! You are loved!

That is why we never give up. Our physical body is becoming older and weaker, but our spirit inside us is made new every day. We have small troubles for a while now, but these troubles are helping us gain an eternal glory. That eternal glory is much greater than our troubles. So we think about what we cannot see, not what we see. What we see lasts only a short time, and what we cannot see will last forever.

-2 Corinthians 4:16-18 ERV

For those who can relate to this article but do not have a relationship with God, please know He doesn’t want you to be alone. Jesus came & died just to have a relationship with you. It’s up to you to receive Him. Refer to ‘Invitation From God’ on the “BOSS Ministries” app.